So Cask Ale Week launched yesterday at the Betjeman Arms in St Pancras. The first thing that struck me about the event was how stunningly beautiful Melanie Sykes is in the flesh. The second thing that struck me is that the only journalists in attendance were me and a bloke from The Publican.
So in the face of total and utter indifference from the British press and, it seems, the beer community, let’s have a caption competition instead. The winner receives a free copy of my new book Hops and Glory, on publication date – now a mere eight weeks away.
(Oh by the way, the less attractive person in this picture is TV’s Oz Clarke).
Away you go!
“Sorry love, we’re out of flakes.”
How ridiculous to pay us all that money to be here and then only invite 2 journalists…
TV’s OZ Clarke on the pull.
To be honest love, I’d prefer a lager.
I said I wanted a sparkler.Not someone to add sparkle.
Ben
Liverpool
“Actually Mel, I’m more of a wine expert really.”
“Yeah, you look the sort who would be.”
“See, love, I may not have all the hair of that Pete Brown bloke, but at least I can pull a decent pint!”
“No I will NOT get my hands on it, I don’t care how stiff it is”
“I like a bit of head”
When I put my keys in the bowl, I wasn’t expecting this.
Oz: Good choice – I’ll tell you about this ale’s ‘terroir’…
Melanie: Second thoughts, I’ll have a pint of Stella.
To be honest love, I’d prefer a cup of tea.
Oz: My wife doesn’t understand me…
Mel: That reminds me, where IS James May?
“This is the closest Oz Clarke ever came to pulling Melanie Sykes.”
Oh come off it love, I’m sure I’ve pulled more often than you.
Oz: What’d you say if I told you I was part Irish?
Mel: ‘Feck off!’
Oz: so which one are you sporty or scary?
Mel: So which one are you the camp one or Jeremy clarkson’s gimp?
Oz: Bitter?
Mel: No not really I’ve got several things coming up and working with Des wasn’t as much fun as it looked and well I’m getting paid for this and at least nobody confuses me for Fern cotton.
I’m a celebrity…get me out of here?
It was either this or judging a bull testicle fry up north. I guess my manager knows what’s best. Still…
OZ: Well Mel, I’ve had most other ranks in the army, but I can honestly say I’ve never pulled a Bombadier.
MEL (through her pearly white smile): Always thought you were a bit of a ‘ranker’.
Do you want head?
Went to the roundhouse in London’s glittering London yesterday. They were doing a cask beer week promotion sadly it’s a shoddy pub in general so putting aside the 10 minutes it took to get served (it wasn’t busy) the only cask ale that wasn’t cloudy or off was green king IPA so I ended up with a guinness. Shame really as it’s tourist friendly place and people were reading the leaflets etc.
I ain’t got no boddies
Eeeeeee Tarquin y’lummock, you’re just like a Southern pint; weak as piss and nowt on top.
(Disclaimer: The view expressed here by Melanie Sykes is not necessarily shared by the author of this post who will quite happily drink Southern ales.)
It’s not what you pull, it’s how you pull ’em that matters.
If I pull something hard for you, will you pull something hard for me?
Thirteen of the country’s finest craft brewers will gather at the Matinecock Masonic Historical Society in Oyster Bay on August 22, 2009 from 1:00—5:00pm to showcase their finest cask beer. Festival attendees will be able to try samples of the cask beer from the local, award winning breweries like Blue Point Brewing Company and Black Forest Brew Haus, plus breweries hailing from California, Pennsylvania, New York State, and Massachusetts. The event will be held at the Matinecock Masonic Historical Society located at 14 W. Main Street in Oyster Bay, NY. http://www.CraftBeerFestivals.com/Caskfest
FOR MORE INFO PLEASE CONTACT ANDY CALIMANO andyc@starfishjunction.com