Tag: Alistair Darling is a fucking idiot

| Uncategorised

Thunderbird Zero – you’re fired.


Just realised I can’t bring myself to use this picture any more after today.

It might be funny, but I love Thunderbirds. It was my favourite show when I was growing up. You know what? It still is.
International Rescue helped people. They saved lives. Made the world a better place. This man is an disgrace to the uniform. It’s an insult to Scott, Alan, Gordon, Brains and especially Virgil to associate this fucking moron, this retard, with their legacy any longer. (And yes, I know ‘retard’ is politically incorrect. But not as politically incorrect as ‘cunt’, which is the only other word I can think of.)
I hereby proclaim that Alistair Darling is off the SupermarionationTM roll-call forthwith.
I was going to do a post sounding off about the budget in detail, but what’s the point? Everyone else from CAMRA and BBPA to the entire UK beer blogosphere is venting their spleen, and I agree with them, but I’ve nothing additional to say. I have been thinking about where we go from here though. And I plan to write quite a bit about that, real soon.

| Uncategorised

Beer sales not quite as shit as they have been lately

Every quarter, the British Beer and Pub Association (BBPA) releases a quarterly ‘beer barometer’ that gives you a snapshot of how beer sales are doing in the UK.

As you’re probably aware, UK beer sales have been tanking over the last few years, and this has put the much-criticised BBPA in a difficult position. As the body representing British brewing interests it should be a cheerleader for the industry, actively promoting beer. But increasingly it sounds like a doom-monger, doing more than any other organisation to give the impression that no one is drinking beer or going to the pub any more.
Fortunately, the latest figures – while not exactly positive – are significantly less shit than they have been recently, and this has allowed the BBPA to take a welcome, slightly more upbeat tone.
The headline of the press release is “Beer starts to shake off recession slump”. The key figures are:
  • Total beer sales down 3.6% in October to December 2009, the lowest 4th quarter fall since 2006
  • Beer sales for the whole of 2009 fell by 4.2%, compared with 5.5% for 2008
  • Sales in pubs and bars for the final quarter of 09 were down 5% – compared with 9% in 2008
  • Beer was down in supermarkets and shops in the final quarter by 2.1%, compared with 6.4% in 2008
  • However, over the year a a while, off-trade beer sakes were down 3.1% – the largest annual fall since records began in 1978. This at least raises questions about the received wisdom that the main problem facing pubs is cheap beer in supermarkets
  • Based on these figures, despite Alastair “A barman nicked my girlfriend when I was 18 and my entire economic policy is based on extracting a slow and humiliating revenge from an industry I have learned to hate” Darling having raised duty on beer by more than 20 fucking per cent in the last two years, and having done so purely as a revenue raising measure (anti-binge drinking etc was not a consideration), government revenues from beer have in fact fallen by an estimated £258 million. Nice one, Thunderbirds-boy.

So. People are drinking less beer, and it’s looking like the recession has been a key cause of that. But as BBPA chief executive Brigid Simmonds comments, “As the economy moves into recovery, so will the beer and pub sector. In fact, as in previous recessions, it may emerge first and fastest.”

But Simmonds also warns “What is certain is that any recovery could be thrown off course and destabilised by Government intervention on tax or regulation. What is equally certain is that any move by Government to increase beer tax further this year would be very damaging and place pubs and jobs at greater risk.”

Come on Alastair, get over it. It was a long time ago. Let her go.

| Uncategorised

Seven Days to save the Pub

Went to a press conference yesterday as the Axe the Beer Tax campaign enters its final week.  I doubt whether the eerie Alastair Darling will listen, but the case against raising the tax now seems irrefutable:

  • Rate of pub closures is up to 39 a week – that’ll increase further if the tax goers through
  • 2000 pubs have gone to the wall since last year’s budget
  • Last year’s 18% tax rise has cost the beer and pub industry an additional £540 million – and yet the total tax revenue from beer has gone down thanks to the tax slaughtering demand for beer. 
MPs have shown an astonishing level of disapproval for the proposed further tax rise:
  • 70% of all MPs oppose further tax rises
  • 202 MPs have now signed the EDM calling for the rise to be scrapped – that’s only the fourth EDM EVER to get more than 200 MPs signed up, and the first time an EDM about fiscal policy has received such strong support.
  • 45% of Labour’s own back benchers oppose the rise.  It’s rare for such a high level of back bench revolt.
MPs only do things for political reasons.  There’s an election looming, and this widespread support for the pub industry can only mean they think beer tax rises are a vote loser, that their constituents are unhappy with their local pubs shutting down.
There’s still a week left to help change this cretin’s mind.  If you haven’t already done so, please sign up – you can see it’s working.

| Uncategorised

Why does this wanker hate pubs so much?

One aspect of this week’s pre-budget statement that hasn’t had much coverage is the fact that duty was raised on alcohol, tobacco and petrol to ‘offset’ the advantage they would gain from the reduction in VAT.  There’s since been a rethink and it looks like the move will be reversed on spirits and alcopops – but not beer or wine.
I’m always conscious of trying not to swear too gratuitously on this blog – it’s not professional.  And this move is all about financial revenue rather than doing anything to combat binge drinking.  But how fucking stupid do you have to be to give tax breaks on the drinks that teenagers are throwing up in the streets, and single out the beer that many people enjoy responsibly in community pubs for special punishment?
Pubs are already closing at the rate of five a day.  Beer sales are already at their lowest for forty years.  Beer has already received a record tax increase this year.  And now beer is pretty much the only part of the British economy that isn’t receiving financial help in the credit crunch.  
The industry has calculated that the duty increase does more than offset the VAT drop – it creates a net price increase.  And while the VAT drop is temporary, the duty increase is likely to be permanent.  Together with the further swingeing duty increases already planned over the next four years, beer duty is set to increase by 40% – and it was already among the highest in Europe.
This fucking moron is killing our pub industry and he has to be stopped – and I say that as a lifelong socialist (I know that’s not the same thing as being a Labour supporter any more, but you take my point).
The British beer industry has always been a bit rubbish at speaking with one voice.  The typical response on something like this is for CAMRA to do one thing, the Publican and Morning Advertiser to each mount their own separate campaigns, and the British Beer and Pub Association to do something different again, all of them without talking to each other.  
But desperate times call for desperate measures, and this morning the BBPA and CAMRA (and for some reason Jennifer Ellison and Kym Marsh) launched a five point “Axe the beer tax – save the pub” campaign.  It looks like there’s some coordination (though I’d have thought inviting beer writers along to the event might have helped spread the word – I only got sent the press release afterwards).  Hopefully this is the start of a coordinated effort to actually do something.  Sustained, focussed lobbying CAN work.  We need everyone to get behind this campaign rather than start their own, and speak with one voice.  It’s too late and too urgent for one body to say it doesn’t entirely agree with the aims of another, or wants its name in lights and not theirs.  This is an issue that affects everyone in the brewing and pub industry, and beer drinkers throughout the UK – whether your favourite tipple is Bud or Timmy Taylor’s.
So whether you’re a brewer, writer, pub landlord, professional beer bore or just someone who enjoys the pub, go to www.axethebeertax.com, sign the petition, lobby your MP.  Save the pub.