Tag: Brew Dog

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Dog Jumps Shark*

I hate having to write two consecutive posts about Brew Dog, especially when the first one was a satirical post in which I took the piss out of myself more than anything else.
But last night James Watt ruined my mood for the fireworks with the announcement of his latest wheeze.
Tokyo* has, allegedly, been banned by the Portman Group. But it turns out the complaint that led to this ban came from James himself, in order to show up Portman for how ridiculous they are. James’ Tweet explaining this simply said “lessons in marketing”, and linked to the blog post about the story.
When Portman announced they were to investigate Brew Dog back in August, Brew Dog fans threw up their hands in horrified outrage. At the time, I said on their blog:
“Careful we don’t all go for the wrong targets – if Portman have received a complaint they are obliged to investigate it – they are just doing their job. The substance of the complaint to me seems to be nonsense. If Portman uphold it, that is when to lay into them, because that would be a ridiculous decision. But if they throw it out, it could do loads to help get the right message about craft beers across.”
So is now the time to slag off Portman? Well, from our point of view we’ll always think they’re overreacting a tad. But this morning I’m afraid it’s Brew Dog who look like idiots. I wouldn’t mind that so much – but I fear their antics have damaged the entire beer industry, and the worst thing is, they couldn’t give a shit.
The thing is, Tokyo* hasn’t been banned at all, as James claims it has. Portman have not objected to the beer; they’ve objected to some inflammatory wording on the label – wording it now seems was written with the sole intention of winding up the Portman Group in the first place, given the only person who has complained about it was the person who wrote it.
I could go on here to point out that we have to have regulatory bodies overseeing alcohol promotion, that every market in the world has such regulatory bodies, and that by international standards ours is not that bad. I could explain that we need such regulation in order to stop fly-by-night small businesses – usually hawking nasty spirits – from packaging their gutrot in a way that overtly appeals to children, or links drunkenness with sexual success.
I could explain that the alternative to bodies like the Portman Group is direct government regulation. I could point out that this would be much harsher than what we currently have, that there are lots of floating voters who don’t like seeing drunk people in their nice middle class town centres, and that the Tory government-in-waiting – never known for their relaxed attitudes to people enjoying themselves – are murmuring about aggressively tightening restrictions on any beer over 5%, and that if they had direct control over alcohol regulation most of Brew Dog’s beers, as well as 90% of the speciality beers we love, could actually become illegal.
I could point out that this stunt not only damages the credibility of the Portman Group – its avowed intention – but also gives perfect fuel to those who believe the alcohol industry cannot be trusted and needs to be more tightly controlled.
But there’s no point. Because BrewDog James already knows and understands this perfectly, and he doesn’t care.
James loves the Portman Group. They are central to his marketing strategy. This is how he promotes the Brew Dog name and gets column inches. The fact that he refers to the blog post as “lessons in marketing” tells us all we need to know about the real reason for this stunt, whatever mealy-mouthed justification is trotted out on the Brew Dog blog over the weekend. This is about self-promotion. It does nothing to further the debate about great craft beer. It does no service to drinkers and Brew Dog fans, who were as duped by this as anyone else.
I’ve worked in marketing and consultancy for 18 years, most of that in booze. And in that time I’ve met a lot of talented, headstrong 26 year-olds who think they know everything, who think they can stick it to the man and usher in a new wave of cool. Every single one of them falls flat on their arse, usually with wider damaging consequences. I know, because I was one.
“Lessons in marketing”? So this is how we should all behave, is it?
The craft beer industry needs gifted brewers like Martin Dickie. And it needs edgy, iconoclastic brands like Brew Dog. It needs conventions to be challenged, and it needs fresh ideas. But it needs schoolboy pranks like this one like it needs a hole in the head. There’s no place in the craft beer world for someone who seeks publicity by winding up regulatory bodies just for the sake of it, sending an early Christmas present to neo-prohibitionist Op-Ed writers in the process.
What angers me the most is that even by writing this, I’m playing into James’ strategy. It’s what he wants. So let me state my opinion very clearly:
Brew Dog: either grow up, or get out.
My Equity for Punks prospectus has been refiled from ‘to do’ to ‘recycling’.

*If you don’t know, ‘jumping the shark’ is a phrase from the TV industry that refers to the episode when popular comedy Happy Days finally lost it and ran out of ideas, symbolised by Fonzie jumping over a shark on water skis.

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The biggest thing in beer. Ever.

A few days ago, I figured out how to include the Wikio rankings badge on my blog, up there top-right. As I was number one, I was quite pleased with the result. I enjoyed looking at it. But only days later, I’m staring at a big fat number two. The Brew Dog Blog has overtaken me to become Britain’s most influential beer or wine blog. I wish I’d never suggested to Wikio that they include them, now. I don’t like this. I don’t like it at all. I want my top spot back. But how? I’ve been giving this some thought, and the answer is obvious. Brew Dog are experts at generating publicity, and this last month has seen their most ambitious scheme yet. They promised us they were going to change the world, trailed it weeks in advance. And while Equity for Punks may not have been the miracle it promised to be, it generated endless discussion online, with countless links to the Brew Dog blog, where it was hotly debated. That’s surely the reason Brew Dog succeeded on overtaking me. Well, two can play at that game. Soon – at a date I’ll think of in a minute – I’m going to announce something that’s better than changing the world forever. It will make changing the world forever look like changing your position slightly in a leather armchair to make yourself more comfortable, emitting a slight farting sound as you do so. What I am going to announce won’t just change the world. It will change the very laws of the universe. Time will run backwards. The speed of light will slow. Light itself will become liquid. Gravity will reverse. Dinosaurs shall walk the earth once more. Base metals shall turn into gold. You will believe a man can fly. Yea, New Order shall reform and even rediscover the ability to write a decent tune. Just you wait and see. I’m not kidding. I’m not exaggerating. (OK, maybe I am just a little with the New Order bit.) What I am about to announce – at 2am on 25th December, that’ll do – will rock the foundations of existence to their very core. In fact it’s so incredible, it can’t be held back. I can’t stop myself. I’m going to announce it right now. Right here. Brace yourself. What Brew Dog don’t understand is that Punk is now really old. It was 33 years ago, guys! Sid Vicious is dead. John Lydon is advertising butter on TV. Sham 69 are… well, I’m not sure what Sham 69 are doing. But equity for punks? That’s equity for blokes in their fifties with slightly waxy pallor after too many years hard living, who now mainly drink mineral water. Lame! Equity for Punks is also divisive – not everyone likes punk rock. It’s really noisy! They’re shouting, not singing. You can hardly hear the words. So here’s my universe changing idea: Equity For People With Interesting And Varied Mixes On Their iPods That Might Contain Some Punk And Alternative Stuff But There’s Probably A Bit Of Coldplay On There Too If You’re Honest. EFPWIAVMOTiTMCSPAASBTPABOCOTTIYH for short. Or maybe just Equ-i-Pod, thinking about it. Equ-i-pod gives you the chance to become part of Pete Brown’s Beer Blog. That’s right: I’m offering shares in what is currently – according to the judges of last year’s beer writers’ awards and now Wikio – Britain’s second-best beer blog. Equ-i-PodBlog then. No, Equ-i-PodBlogTM. That’s more like it. Equ-i-PodBlogTM will give you a 0.01% share in Pete Brown’s Beer Blog. As a shareholder, you’ll be able to leave comments on my posts – literally becoming part of the blog itself! You can even make suggestions for things you’d like me to write about if you like. Cynics may argue that because Pete Brown’s Beer Blog has no monetary value whatsoever then your shares are worthless. But don’t listen to them. That’s not what it’s really about. It’s more about being part of something exciting that’s got something to do with beer. And anyway, that’s not all you get. I’m also offering a lifetime discount on purchases of my books (conditional on you buying them through Amazon – it’s currently 40% off Hops & Glory I think). So: Equ-i-PodBlogTM is more up-to-date and inclusive than Equity for Punks. Equ-i-PodBlogTM gives you something even better than a genuine stake in an exciting, iconoclastic and rapidly expanding brewery. And thirdly, Equ-i-PodBlogTM is way, way cheaper than what Brew Dog are doing. I’m not going to ask you for £230 a share. I’m not going to ask you for £100 a share. I’m not even going to ask you for £50 a share. A tenner. Oh go on then, a fiver. A crisp fiver, and tell you what, I’ll give you three shares. You can’t say fairer than that. I’m robbing myself blind here. I’ll be having a pint to launch it at the Rake, probably, some time over the weekend. Tell your friends. Link to my blog by any means possible. Have a heated debate in the comments section. Twitter as if your life depended on it. Drive more traffic to my blog. Because now, it’s your blog too. And James and Martin – enjoy the view from up there at number one. Enjoy it while you still can, boys.

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The earth didn’t move. But that’s OK

In the end it was typical Brew Dog: a good, original, interesting idea, overhyped so ludicrously that the reality was a bit of a letdown, but having created enough debate and discussion to make you suspect this is what they intended all along.

If this blog is the only thing you’ve ever read on the internet, you may be unaware that yesterday, after teasing us for months, Brew Dog announced the launch of Equity for Punks, essentially an IPO offering fans of the beer the chance to own a tiny sliver of the brewery. The money raised by the share issue will finance the building of a new brewery.
It’s certainly had a mixed reaction. The shares are stupidly overpriced – the 10,000 shares represent 9% of the total equity which, at £230 a share, would mean the brewery itself is worth around £23 million. It’s not.
But that’s not the point. I doubt Brew Dog will sell all 10,000 shares, but the people who are buying are buying something more than a 0.0009% stake in the most exciting brewery in the UK. The people buying are people who don’t normally buy shares. They’re buying this share because they want to align themselves with something interesting and iconoclastic, to be part of an adventure. Think of it less as a share, more like a T-shirt or badge saying “I’m one of these cool, interesting people who’s part of this cool, interesting thing.” And remember the lifetime 20% discount on the beers too.
Will I buy my share? Probably. The only thing I’ll say though is that if the shares were a tenner each, I’d probably have bought £500 worth. Many Brew Dog fans won’t be able to afford the £230 price of entry. There’s an exclusivity here that’s not very punk. It’s actually going to be a stretch for me, but I don’t want to miss the ride.

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Tokyo* Storm Warning

Right – my last post about Tokyo*. But it’s a post I have to write because I’ve done something none of the people claiming this beer will bring about the downfall of civilisation have done – I’ve tried a bottle.

There’s a familiar pattern now with any moral panic in society: you can usually depend on the fact that those linking, say, a film with violent behaviour have never seen the movie they’re condemning. People who think a record is disgusting and depraved can be relied upon to give their view without having listened to it. And clearly, those who regard Tokyo as ‘irresponsible’ haven’t had so much as a sip of it. This is obvious simply from the timing of the comments – they wouldn’t have had chance to do so before they opened their mouths to the press on the day of the beer’s launch. But it becomes more obvious once you taste the beer.
The thing to remember about Brew Dog at all times is that while they’re serious about making their beer, they regard the promotion of it as a big joke. They deliberately court controversy, and when they’re not doing that they just like to have a laugh.
Exhibit A: Tokyo*’s label copy. This is a beer that was apparently “inspired by a 1980s space invaders arcade game played in Japan’s capital. The irony of existentialism, the parody of being and the inherent contradictions of post-modernism, all so delicately conveyed by the blocky, pixelated arcade action have all been painstakingly recreated in this bottle’s contents.” So they’re taking the piss, OK?
So, to the beer.
As I took off the cap, the aroma of American hops wafted out. It poured dark ruby rather than completely black, with a tan had that disappeared instantly. Fine; you’d neither expect nor welcome too much carbonation in a beer like this. Sniffing from the glass, I was struck first by a whisky alcohol whiff. Then there was treacle and molasses, then those hops – the dry hopping has definitely added something. Then finally there’s oak – not the vanilla you’d expect, but a fresh, woody scent.
The vanilla appeared on the palate – straight away, barging to the front. This was followed by a profound alcohol burn that stripped everything else away and left my mouth buzzing. It was a shocking experience.
After this initial punch in the mouth, a second sip felt a little smoother. Cherries and chocolate joined the vanilla to give me a nostalgic mouthful of black forest gateau, with a satisfying, drying earthiness towards the end and, challenging the retro dessert theme, an aftertaste of creme brulee. Somewhere in there, the marriage of the fresh hops and the dark, treacly stout was continuously creating new flavours and associations.
I’d expected to recommend this beer as a substitute for port or sherry. But as a big fan of Islay malts, if I ever have another one this young (I’m definitely looking forward to aging this beer – it will be stunning when it mellows) I’ll drink it instead of whisky. I’d imagined sharing a bottle between two – I’d actually recommend one bottle between four.
The idea of anyone binge drinking a bottle of this beer, of knocking it back quickly, is utterly absurd. I defy anyone to drink a bottle in under an hour. You actually don’t want a full bottle of it. The argument about it containing more units than your recommended daily guideline is no more valid than it would be with a bottle of spirits. In fact a resealable bottle would be brilliant. I had no idea there would be so much coverage of this beer – the Daily Mash pisstake whose copyright I illegally infringed the other day shows they are a national news story. Well, it is silly season. But anyone linking this beer to binge drinking is quite clearly drinking, smoking or sniffing something far more potent.
Brew Dog were probably a little taken aback themselves by the reaction – they’ve responded with some excellent and thought-provoking points here. But I have one final grumble with them: to claim that this beer will actually help cure binge drinking is possibly as stupid as the reaction to it. Some of the arguments deployed to say it won’t encourage binge drinking – limited run, lack of availability etc – equally mean most people won’t get a chance to try the beer and have their expectations challenged. They’ll only see the headlines and draw their conclusions from that. And I have to admit, going back to the label copy, I definitely felt a little pixelated by the time when – against my better judgement – I sneakily finished off the bottle.
All publicity is NOT good publicity because, after Tokyo* sells out, there’s a bunch of blinkered, bigoted neo-prohibitionists who have a bit more ammo in their attack on the industry as irresponsible. This beer is not irresponsible. And the case for brewing beers like this would be much more effectively made if you simply got some of the idiots mouthing off about it to try it, and record their reactions on camera.
The world would be a much better place if there were more beers like this in it.

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DINNER PARTY CRAZE FOR PREMIUM STRENGTH LAGER

The Daily Mash do it yet again. Thanks to David Mace for pointing this out to me. Intriguing case in point that they seem to think Tokyo is a “super strength lager”…

DINNER PARTY CRAZE FOR PREMIUM STRENGTH LAGER

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A NEW range of boutique 18% lagers are becoming the drink of choice for sophisticated urban professionals who really like a fight.

Image

It goes really well with tiramisu and bits of tooth

According to the manufacturers, Tokyo beer lends an ‘authentic taste of bohemian street culture to staid social occasions’.

A spokesman said: “It means you can punch fellow guests who get on your tits, because afterwards you can just blame the drink. And chances are you won’t remember doing it anyway.”

Jennie Hargreaves, a public relations consultant from Hatfield, said: “I serve Tokyo at all my parties and the guests soon become too incoherent to have the same old boring conversations about school fees and the Booker Prize.

“By the time I bring out the tiramisu someone’s usually got a dessert fork in their eye. That sort of thing used to really bother me, but these days I’m just too pissed to care.”

Tom Logan, an architect from Finsbury Park, said: “I was at a housewarming in an executive apartment building. The Tokyo was flowing freely and this lawyer starts on about school fees.

“I’m like, ‘I couldn’t give a fuck about your fucking school fees, kid are all bastards anyways’, and then I hit him with a chair, fell backwards through a table and soiled myself.

“Then they threw me out and I was all covered in blood and glass and I was crying a lot. But then I remembered I’d snuck a couple of bottles into my coat. I was so chuffed that I spent the rest of the evening sitting in a bus shelter, muttering to myself.”

He added: “Tokyo is certainly well-crafted with an intruiging palate – but more importantly it’s a fantastic ice breaker.

“If only it wasn’t so moreish, I probably wouldn’t be sleeping in a public toilet.”

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Tokyo* Fever

RESPONSE TO BREWDOG TOKYO* STORY, by Richard Dinwoodie
How could I call myself a beer blogger if I didn’t weigh in to this particular ding dong?
Ordered my stash of Tokyo* the other day and I can’t wait for it to arrive. When it does, I’ll be sharing one bottle with Mrs PBBB and laying most of it down for those times you have friends round and it gets late and you say, “You know what? Have a try of this and see what you think,” and I’ll get wine glasses and split a bottle four or six ways. In other words, I’ll treat it exactly like the vintage wines and port I also have in my cellar (I don’t have many vintage wines – just a few – Christ, that makes me sound like a snob, doesn’t it?)
When I ordered the beer, the fact that people might be alarmed by the ABV never crossed my mind. When the storm broke I did one of those incredulous, disbelieving little laughs, then got very depressed indeed as the coverage piled up. By yesterday afternoon, I wanted to twist off my own head and urinate down my neck hole in frustration.
We all know it’s utter, utter nonsense to link a beer like this with binge drinking. No point in repeating the arguments here.
But two things prey on my mind.
The first is that, though the neo-prohibitionist attack is 90% alarmist bluster, I think there’s a kernel of genuine concern behind it. This is not Brew Dog’s fault, but the thing is, the beer is released in 330ml bottles. The vast majority of beer drinkers take a 330ml beer bottle and swig the contents straight from the neck. They shouldn’t of course, but that’s the culture. So when someone sees a press shot of a 330ml bottle, they can just about be forgiven for thinking that this is how it’s going to be drunk. I know that not a single person who forks out for Tokyo* would ever consider drinking it this way, but that’s not the point. Beer conventions are deeply entrenched, and products like this need to challenge them.
Which brings me on to the second point. Brew Dog court controversy. It gets them masses of free PR and will ensure that this beer, like many others, sells out in mere days. They’re rapidly becoming one of the most high profile brewers in the country. But this needs to be handled so carefully. Anything James and Martin say will be pored over by the press with a forensic level of analysis, and will be twisted and warped wherever possible. And having worked in marketing for longer than I care to admit, please believe me that the adage about “all publicity is good publicity” is utter tosh.
My criticism of Tokyo* is the pic above, and all pics I’ve seen of the beer so far. It shows more than one bottle. People buy bottles in four packs, to be consumed in quick succession. The above pic reminds people how 330ml bottles of beer are normally consumed, and subliminally suggests this might be consumed in the same way. It’s easy to add the link to the ABV and create an alarmist story.
By contrast, think of Sam Adams Utopias:
I think the bottle is dreadful and tacky, and the beer is amazing. But every single publicity shot I’ve seen of it has a single bottle with some of the beer sitting in a brandy balloon alongside. Anyone who sees it can tell that you’re not meant to drink this like a normal beer, and it makes the neo-prohibitionist case so much more difficult to establish.
It’s a small thing, but pictures are powerful. If Brew Dog showed more graphically how their beers were in fact consumed responsibly, there’d be far less controversy.
Question is, is that what the guys want?

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BrewDog rapped for Speedball beer drug connotations

This happened yesterday:

Scottish brewer BrewDog has had its Speedball beer brand pulled from UK shelves following a complaint about the product’s intimated link to drugs.

UK drinks industry body The Portman Group said today (20 January) that its independent complaints panel has upheld a complaint under the group’s code of practice, brought by Alcohol Focus Scotland, claiming the beer’s marketing is associated with illicit drugs.

Speedball is the name given to the practice of combining heroin and crack cocaine to give both sedative and stimulant effects, the Portman Group said.

The drink is marketed by BrewDog as a “class A ale” containing “a vicious cocktail of active ingredients” which creates a “happy-sad” effect.

“The blurring of alcohol and illicit drugs fosters unhealthy attitudes to drinking and trivialises drug misuse.,” said David Poley, chief executive of the Portman Group. “BrewDog is profiteering from the scourge of illegal drugs, mocking the misery caused by misuse.

“We are taking urgent action to protect the public from exposure to such negligent marketing.”

A retailer alert bulletin will be issued to retailers in the UK, urging them to remove the drink from sale until its marketing is altered to comply with the code.

The co-founder of BrewDog, Martin Dickie, defended the company’s behaviour. “The Portman Group has attacked us for our marketing instead of going after the companies who are mass-selling products cheaply and causing the nation’s alcohol problems,” he said.

“This is a drink which, in the UK, had a release of 1,184 bottles and cost GBP3 a bottle, so Speedball is for those who enjoy a quality beer responsibly and enjoy a premium drink at a premium price.

“Technically, the name fits within the product. The ingredients are natural stimulants including guarana and kola nuts with natural depressants Californian poppy and hops, so it is a speedball of a combination.”

Love the beer, love the brewery. Agree with the point the lads are making. But at the same time, I’m not sure it was a great idea to launch this beer with the specific intention of getting this result. Yes, it gives them an opportunity to put a case forward, but in an attention-deficient age where most people read the headline and skim the rest of a story, I worry that if you just get the barest facts or read reports like this one half way, then you’re going to walk away on Portman’s side. Am I being an old fart about this?

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