The Daily Mash do it yet again. Thanks to David Mace for pointing this out to me. Intriguing case in point that they seem to think Tokyo is a “super strength lager”…
DINNER PARTY CRAZE FOR PREMIUM STRENGTH LAGER
|A NEW range of boutique 18% lagers are becoming the drink of choice for sophisticated urban professionals who really like a fight.
According to the manufacturers, Tokyo beer lends an ‘authentic taste of bohemian street culture to staid social occasions’.
A spokesman said: “It means you can punch fellow guests who get on your tits, because afterwards you can just blame the drink. And chances are you won’t remember doing it anyway.”
Jennie Hargreaves, a public relations consultant from Hatfield, said: “I serve Tokyo at all my parties and the guests soon become too incoherent to have the same old boring conversations about school fees and the Booker Prize.
“By the time I bring out the tiramisu someone’s usually got a dessert fork in their eye. That sort of thing used to really bother me, but these days I’m just too pissed to care.”
Tom Logan, an architect from Finsbury Park, said: “I was at a housewarming in an executive apartment building. The Tokyo was flowing freely and this lawyer starts on about school fees.
“I’m like, ‘I couldn’t give a fuck about your fucking school fees, kid are all bastards anyways’, and then I hit him with a chair, fell backwards through a table and soiled myself.
“Then they threw me out and I was all covered in blood and glass and I was crying a lot. But then I remembered I’d snuck a couple of bottles into my coat. I was so chuffed that I spent the rest of the evening sitting in a bus shelter, muttering to myself.”
He added: “Tokyo is certainly well-crafted with an intruiging palate – but more importantly it’s a fantastic ice breaker.
“If only it wasn’t so moreish, I probably wouldn’t be sleeping in a public toilet.”