I don’t like returning to the same theme twice. It smacks of overkill, flogging a dying horse.
But for pity’s sake, I’m only human.
It’s even funnier than my pisstake.
To demonstrate this, below are six quotes: three from my pisstake interview, three from the real interview with Macca. See if you can guess which are the genuine quotes and which are the parodies. And remember – I wrote mine BEFORE the real interview was published. I’m not taking the piss out of Macca here. If anything, he’s imitating me.
Of course, you can cheat by following the link to his interview, and/or just scrolling down to read yesterday’s post. But you’d only be cheating yourself.
Here goes – answers in tiny type at the bottom:
“When you’re the nation’s favourite alcohol brand, consumers have raised expectations of everything. We’ve worked hard to make sure that our cider is significantly ahead of the industry benchmark.”
“Stella Artois is dogged by an undeserved reputation as loopy juice, and some people even call it ‘Wifebeater’. Giving our drinkers permission to create Stella snakebite seems like the perfect way to rid the brand of this entirely undeserved reputation.”
“Stella Cidre can be the flywheel for cider category growth. We will bring more premium drinkers into cider than any other brands can do, because they don’t transcend other categories like Stella does.”
“The Stella Artois brand can do what none of the other brands can do. This is game-changing, we are the first beer brand to move into cider.”
“If more companies sought to find opportunities and to innovate more, they’d be more optimistic. I urge the people in our industry to find that opportunity. Other brewers need to start acting more like FMCG companies.”
“As a company, we are leading innovation in drinks. Actually, I could argue that A-B InBev is leading innovation in the entire FMCG sector.”
I lied. Number two is mine. Unbelievably, the rest are all genuine quotes.