Tag: Banks’s

| Beer, Cask ale, CMBC

Why does the world’s biggest brewer of cask ale hate cask ale so much?

Are they chronic liars or are they just shit at their jobs? 48 days after insisting that their decision to close one of their breweries will not impact the range of cask beers it brews, Carlsberg Marston’s Brewing Co (CMBC) are forced to admit that the are axing eleven – ELEVEN – beers, eight of them cask.

On 7th October, CMBC announced that they would be closing the Banks’s brewery in Wolverhampton. It was a tough decision. It wasn’t their fault; it was San Miguel’s fault. It was the market’s fault. Actually it was YOUR fault, because you don’t drink their beers as much as you should. You bastard.

Every time CMBC commits an act of corporate vandalism on Britain’s cask ale market – and that’s become a regular occurrence over the last year or so – they plead that they had to do it. The cask ale market is in such bad shape, so frail and weak, they had no choice but to kick it in the face. Really hard.

As the biggest player in the cask ale market, there was absolutely nothing they could do to prevent the decline of the cask ale market. You know how it is. It’s not as if they could – ooh, I dunno – put any marketing support behind their cask brands, or join any of the industry campaigns trying to promote cask, or even put one single fucking picture of a cask ale on their corporate website or anything. Nope. As the UK’s, and therefore the world’s, biggest brewer of cask ale, there were utterly powerless to prevent its decline.

But don’t worry, they said. Just because we’re closing a massive cask ale brewery doesn’t mean the brands we brewed there are under any kind of threat. What would make you think that, you great big paranoid lummox? As reported in the Morning Advertiser, the closure of a massive cask ale brewery was actually going to allow them to brew more cask ale! Better cask ale! That’s how business works. You just don’t understand. The headline couldn’t be clearer. CMBC: ‘Banks’s brewery closure won’t affect cask brands.’

You’ll never guess what happened next.

The Campaign for Real Ale (CAMRA) recently heard rumours that, actually, some beers were going to be affected, and pressed CMBC for a response. According to a press release from CAMRA today, CMBC confirmed to them directly that the following beers are all for the chop:

  • Banks’s Mild
  • Banks’s Sunbeam
  • Bombardier (keg)
  • Eagle IPA
  • Jennings Cumberland Ale
  • Mansfield Dark Smooth (keg)
  • Mansfield Original Bitter (keg)
  • Marston’s Old Empire
  • Marston’s 61 Deep
  • Ringwood Boondoggle
  • Ringwood Old Thumper

To go from “the brewery closure won’t affect our cask brands” to axing ELEVEN beers in one fell swoop suggests to me one of only two possibilities. One, they’ll just say any old shit they feel like saying to get people off their backs at the time. Or two, someone is really rubbish at their job and has absolutely no idea what’s going on. Or maybe even the whole company is just making it up as they go. Back in October, they could have said, “Obviously things are tricky but we’re going to do the best we can.” They could have sought buyers for these brands, or people to brew them under licence. But no.

When real ale fans wrung their hands over the closure of the brewery last month, I’m sure none of them imagined the scale of the slaughter would be this bad. To be told that everything was fine just 48 days ago makes it seem even more brutal.

The impact is of course uneven. I’m not sure there’ll be too many people missing Eagle IPA, but I used to bloody love Old Empire on the increasingly rare occasions when I could find it. I was never a fan of Bombardier, but it used to be one of the biggest ale brands in the country till this lot got their murderous hands around its neck. In their respective geographical heartlands, Banks’s Mild, Jennings Cumberland Ale and Ringwood Boondoggle were beloved icons.

CMBC have still not issued a public statement on this. But most of the above listed beers aren’t currently shown on their website as available brands anyway. It’s not as if they’ve actually been trying to sell them to drinkers. Why the hell would they want to try doing that?

Are CMBC honestly trying to deliberately destroy the UK’s cask ale market? Of course they’d say no, if they could ever be arsed to comment on the situation. But if they really were trying to murder cask ale, what would they be doing differently to what they’ve done so far this year?