Author: PeteBrown

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A Turning Point?

It’s been a busy week.

Complaining about the lack of coverage given to beer and pubs has become such a reflex reaction now for so many of us, I suspect I actually mumble in my sleep about there being not a single regular beer column in any UK national newspaper, Sunday supplement or magazine.

But after years of saying, “It’s got to change,” it just might be starting.

On Sunday I was quoted in a Sunday Mirror piece on Carlsberg’s most expensive beer in the world. It was a tabloid piece so they were looking to knock it, but I did manage to get the journo to include some flavour descriptors of a typical barley wine style beer. As we got to talking I mentioned my India trip, and this coming Sunday the Mirror will be running quite a big story on it – they’re coming to take my photo in about an hour. This, three days after I was on Market Kitchen talking about the same trip.

And yesterday I got a call from the Independent. Today they’re running a very even-handed piece on the new figures from the BBPA on how pubs are closing at the rate of four a day. Of course it’s a bad news story, but again, they quoted me and used some of my stuff as background to giver the case for the pub as a balance for the problems – it’s by no means a doom-mongering piece.

Also yesterday, there was the news that Men Behaving Badly star Neil Morrissey is filming a three-part series to be shown on Channel 4 this summer about his quest for the perfect pint. He’s opening a microbrewery, and is currently talking to ad agencies about launching the beer. “Beer should not just be for men with sparrows in their beard or lager louts. I want to create the everyman’s ale,” said Morrissey. This will be the first series about beer on British TV since Michael Jackson’s Beer Hunter in 1990. While I’m a bit gutted personally because it probably finally kills my own long-running attempt to get Man Walks into a Pub used as the basis for a TV series, it’s a huge step forward for the image of beer.

It’s possible to pick fault with any of these stories individually – the Mirror won’t treat beer as seriously as we might like; maybe you’d choose a better celeb than Neil Morrissey; maybe the Indie could be more positive – but I can’t remember a week when there were so many different, unconnected people wanting to talk about beer and pubs. And in the week when many other media outlets resorted to bare-faced lying in their coverage of the government review of licensing reform, that’s got to be a good thing.

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Beer writer gets pissed off when travel writers tell him he can’t be in their gang.

Having written one book that took me on a 45,000 mile journey around the world, and being in the middle of another that sees me doing an 18,000 mile sea journey that hasn’t been attempted by any other living writer and which the leading sea travel companies told me was impossible, I now consider myself to be as much a travel writer as a beer writer. Given that those book stores kind enough to stock Three Sheets invariably put it in the travel writing section (next to Bill Bryson – get in!) rather than the food and drink section, I’m obviously not the only person who thinks this way.

So when a fellow scribe suggested I joined the British Guild of Travel Writers, I thought, why not? The British Guild of Beer Writers is a great laugh, a good bunch of people, with social events that are both great fun and good opportunities to meet people. Straddle two different genres of writing, get double the fun.

But it was not to be. Because I, my publisher, my agent and the nation’s bookstores are mistaken. You see I’m not a travel writer at all. I’m a beer writer who travels, and that’s different. It’s not as good.

The impliction seems to be that if I’d done exactly the same journey without beer, then I would be more of a travel writer. It seems you’re either one thing or the other, so Bill Bryson must be confusing the hell out of everone at the moment: he seems to think you can just write in an entertaining manner across various different genres, and so long as the core idea of your book is appealing, it doesn’t really matter what genre you call it. What an idiot; he’s clearly going nowhere.

“If, however, your situation changes and your work becomes broader in scope, do please let me know and I will arrange for your application to be reconsidered,” said my rejection e-mail.

Broader in scope than going twice around the world? “Beer in space” anyone?

If I had satisfied them, that would have got me to an interview stage. An interview. To decide whether I’m really a travel writer or not.

As Oscar Wilde said, “I wouldn’t want to be a member of any club that wouldn’t have me.” Hang on, that’s not right…

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Fine Beer?

Working through my backlog of of trade press reading, I came across an interesting article in the Morning Advertiser written by Andrew Jefford a couple of months ago. He talks about the sheer obsession with increasing product quality in the St Emilion wine-growing region, the reverence the producers have for their product, and the excitement that’s generated by a partiularly good vintage.

Then of course he compares this with beer, and discusses how we don’t have great vintages because beer makers focus on consistency of product above all else. He talks about how most people buying beer don’t have a clue what it’s actually made of, and how we lack that reverence. He argues that there’s a category – fine beer -that doesnlt yet exist: superlative beers that people are prepared to pay top dollar for.

I don’t agree with everything he says, but it’s an interesting argument and I wondered what beer geeks would think of it.

Of course we can all point to examples of fine beers that do exist – Utopias from Sam Adams, the super-strength speciality beers from Dogfish Head that redefine what beer can be, Deus, a bottle of Thomas Hardy’s Ale from 1968… but I think Andrew would argue that you have to know an awful lot about beer before you’re even aware of their existence, whereas anyone who has ever been to Oddbins will have at least taken a glance at the fine wine section in there.

Should brewers invest in creating more ultra-special beers? Should we be demanding, say, a greater range of 12 month wood-aged stouts that retail at twenty quid?

I would imagine the beer blogging community would instinctively say yes, because they’re the kind of people who are constantly searching out challenging, full-bodied, interesting beer. And Jefford’s argument that the existence of fine wines has a halo effect on the whole wine market, which could be replicated in beer, is a valid one.

I’ve got just one counter-argument, and I’m wondering how it might divide people.

One of the strengths of beer is its unpretentiousness, its accessibility. I don’t agree that beer can only ever be a ‘working class’ beverage – Burton pale ale was the most fashionhable thing you could drink for twenty years or so in Victorian society – but I do think that beer is different from wine, and I occasionally get frustrated with people who want to turn beer into ‘the new wine’.

We all know beer can be more complex, can go better with food etc, but when people start trying to talk about beer as if it was wine, they have a tendency to make it elitist. And when people want wine to totally replace beer, drawing battle lines between grape and grain, I lose patience. Anybody who appreciates the subtleties of flavour in a great craft beer and says they ‘don’t like’ wine is either delusional or a liar, and just as bad as those ignorant people who say they ‘don’t like beer’ after drinking one warm can of Bud when they were nineteen.

Elitism is part of wine’s character, so it’s going to be much easier to build in snobbery, mystique, and a sense of specialness. The frustrating part of this is that people can order a bottle of cheap, industrially produced pinot grigio, drink it super-chilled, and while they’re drinking the wine equivalent of Carling Extra Cold, believe they’re actally superior to someone drinking, say, cask ale.

Beer would lose a lot of its soul if it simply aped the culture and mystique around wine.

So I’m not sure. I’d love to see ‘fine beers’ more commonly on the shelves, but can we have that and keep beer as the democratic, sociable drink it has been for five thousand years? Can beer successfully challenge wine at the top level – I’m talking about popular perception, not just among aficionados – without becoming arsey and pretentious? I hope so, but I’m not sure…

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Pete the shameless self-publicist

Next Monday,3rd March, if you’ve got cable or satellite please tune in to UKTV Food for Market Kitchen. I’m on for about five minutes chatting to Tom Parker Bowles about the IPA trip, and tasting a little of the beer (there’s still a bit left in Burton).

Market Kitchen replaced Great Food Live last year, just when I’d become a regular on that show. I don’t think MK features beer as much as GFL used to (Tana Ramsay doesn’t really like beer) but given the dearth of media coverage of beer in the UK, it’s great that they feature it as much as they do. And if everyone watches the show on Monday their viewing figures will spike and they’ll ask me back! Or maybe not.

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Roll on 2018!

When I’m not writing this blog, another way in which I like to inflict misery on myself is by following Barnsley Football Club.

It’s not my fault. I was born there. You can choose your team in that way about as successfully as you can choose your family. I now live within shouting distance of the Emirates Stadium, and while I’m pleased when Arsenal win, I like them as a friend, but I can never love them.

To be a Barnsley fan is to be intimate with disappointment, for it to be one of your default emotions. Barnsley aren’t rubbish – if theyb were simply crap, maybe we could walk away. The frustrating thing is that every now and then there is a flash of what they are capable of, and then they are deeply, deeply mediocre.

We were seventh in the Championship when I came back from India, starting to look like real contenders for a play-off slot. And then we took December and January off. We got two draws and a defeat from the three bottom placed clubs, and lost to everyone else. When we win, we win by one. When we lose, we lose by three. We dropped to seventeenth. And then we played

West Brom, who were top of the table, and beat them comfortably. You see the pattern?

And so to Saturday 16th February 2008. We were 14th in the Championship. Liverpool were, as usual, fifth in the Premiership. Our two most in-form strikers were cup-tied, and the goalkeeper whon was responsible for most of our victories was our for the rest of the season with injury. We’d just signed West Brom’s tjhird choice keeper on loan, a man who’s had two starts in the last 18 months.

He hadn’t even had time to learn the defenders’ names.

The bookies were offering 16-1 on a Barnsley victory; 1-5 Liverpool. The papers said things like:

“Against Barnsley in the FA Cup the Reds should be hopeful of putting away a few goals and easing into the quarter finals without too much bother.”

Ninety minutes later, they were saying things like:

“One of the greatest upsets in FA Cup history.”

Yes, when this happened:


it was arguably the biggest upset since Barnsley beat Man U 3-2 in the fourth round in 1998.

Big clubs get famous victories every season. For Barnsley it happens once every ten years.

What, you want to talk about beer? OK: I celebrated with a bottle of Paradox, a 10% Imperial stout from Brew Dog matured in Islay Malt Whiskycasks. What beer would you celebrate such a famous occasion with? What have you got in your cellar or cupboard that you’re saving for a very special day?

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Two short scenes from British pub life

I was in Burton-on-Trent for a few days last week.

On Thursday night I went to the best pub in the world, a pub so good I’m not even going to say which one it is because I want to keep it for myself. Having said that, a group of Dungeons and Dragons players already go there, so that’s not going to work.

While I was nursing my pint of Bass (two wonderful Thornbridge beers were ‘coming soon’; they always are when I go in) I couldn’t help overhearing the sounds of role-playing coming from behind the frosted glass door to the snug. Soon they were winding up, and one guy – I guess he was the Dungeon Master – asked when they should meet again.

“Two weeks tonight?” someone suggested.

“What date is that?” asked another.

“February the fourteenth.”

“Does that work for everyone?”

The room agreed with a chorus of “Yep,” “No problem,” “I’m free”, “Works for me”.

Bless.

Friday night, I was at a black tie brewing industry dinner (all part of the sinister conspiracy), and it was pretty late by the time we were sauntering through the snow back to our hotel, thinking we looked like the Rat Pack, when in fact we were more like the Fat Pack. It was well below freezing, about 3am, and we saw a girl in the street on her own. She looked about sixteen, and was dressed in a pair of fetish shoes, black fishnet tights, and a nurse’s uniform that almost reached her thighs, was open down the front, and was finished off with a little nurse’s hat.

We stopped to ask if she was OK, out on her own at that time, underdressed in the freezing cold. She looked us up and down, eyes wide, and said, “What the fuck are you all wearing fancy dress for?”

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The first nail in blogging’s coffin?

OK, maybe not the first – but certainly the first one that makes me personally feel Death’s chill hand groping for my virtual collar.

I got an e-mail today. Does it look familiar to any other bloggers out there?

I am writing to draw your attention to a new online platform we have put together. Our President and Chairman is Pierre Chappaz, co-founder of Kelkoo, and our name is ebuzzing.

ebuzzing allows bloggers to earn money by publicising things they actually like, and even to define their own price for doing so.

They browse ad campaigns posted by advertisers, then create content for their blog highlighting those products and services that they genuinely wish to talk about and are paid for each article.

You can learn more about ebuzzing on our Blogger’s Page and also our FAQ. And we would love you to sign up and be part of our community of bloggers.

So just to be clear, they’re offering you money to take ads, and turn them into editorial on your blog. In other words, they’re bribing you to deceive the people who are kind (or sad) enough to read your blog that it’s not advertising at all, but the genuine opinion of someone whose words they, for some reason, value.

I said no.

The whole thing made me a little sad. But when I’m feeling low, I always find the tonic that puts a smile back on my face is Heineken, brewed in Holland since the 187os to an unchanged recipe that uses only the finest hops and barley and is available in all good off-licences – at prices that won’t put a hole in your pocket!

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Goodbye large scale British brewing

Scottish & Newcastle, the last remaining ‘macro’ brewer in British hands, is no more. This morning the board agreed the price they’re prepared to take from Carlsberg and Heineken to be bought and broken up between the two companies.

The offer, through newly-formed joint venture Sunrise Acquisitions, will see Carlsberg take full ownership of Eastern European joint venture Baltic Beverages Holding, as well as S&N’s French, Greek, Chinese and Vietnamese operations. Heineken will own S&N’s operations in the UK and Ireland, Portuguese, Finnish, Belgian, US and Indian operations.

This means John Smith’s – the UK’s largest ale brand – will be owned and run by Heineken. I wonder if they’ll do the brand as much justice as Carlsberg did Tetley?

It does mean that the likes of Greene King, Fuller’s, Wells & Youngs and Marston’s are now the largest British brewers. I quite like that.

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The slow death of a once wonderful brand

From this…
This week Young’s pubs announced that they were delisting Stella Artois because it was no longer premium enough. All Bar One also recently delisted the brand on the same grounds.
I’m enormously sad about this, because however unlikely it seems, it was Stella that caused me to become a beer writer.
Ten years ago I was a strategic planner working on the “Reassuringly Expensive” TV campaign. The ads were set in Provence, filmed as cinematic epics, and widely considered to be among the best stuff on TV, ads or programmes. Polls revealed that it was the brand more desired by Publicans than any other. Research among drinkers showed that the brand was seen as authentic, ‘genuinely continental’, and above all, premium. That was its cachet. The nineties was a decade when people who couldn’t afford flash cars or designer clothes started to trade up to premium versions of everyday goods – freshly squeezed orange juice, Haagen Dazs ice cream, and Stella instead of ‘standard’ lager. No other mainstream beer brand – with the exception of Guinness – came anywhere close to it in terms of image and desirability. In one or two research groups I did, one or two people told me it was nicknamed ‘wifebeater’ because of its strength, but I never heard this on a day-to-day basis.
We hadn’t intended for it to become so popular. We didn’t know how it had happened. It was the right brand in the right place at the right time, and we knew that somehow, it had managed to be a mainstream brand that was simultaneously perceived as special. Millions of people were drinking it, but each one of them believed they were making a more discerning choice than everyone else in doing so.
To some extent Stella is a victim if its own success. Most beer in the off-trade now is sold at steep price discounts that brewers are powerless to control. As the most desirable brand, Stella ended up being featured in promotions more than most, and this damaged its ‘expensive’ positioning.
But it was walking a tightrope. If retailers were pulling it towards the mainstream and the everyday, the brand’s owners needed to counter this by doing a whole lot more to increase its premium image. Instead, following the merger that created Inbev, the brand’s new owners chased volume.
For a short time, they got it, but the brand was starting to rot. Kronenbourg sold a fraction of Stella’s volume, but started to innovate – a wheat beer, a stronger beer called Grand Cru, a new ultra-premium font, extra-cold serve, beautiful large bottles to be shared over a meal… Stella did nothing.
In 1999 I was asked to write the first positioning presentation for Artois Bock. The truth about Bock is that it is the first beer ever brewed by Sebastien Artois, thirty years before Stella. It was a great story – a TRUE story (which is more than can be said for the recent campaign claiming Stella has been brewed by the Artois family for 600 years, which has just been banned for being a big fat lie).
Reviving Bock would have increased the sense that the brand was different, premium and continental, at a time when people already loved it. The idea was shelved, even while the market for imported Belgian speciality beers was growing by 30-40% a year.
Bock was finally launched in 2005, when Stella had already started to decline. Launching a new variant from a position of strength is completely different than doing it when you’re in trouble, when it’s often seen as an act of desperation. Every student of marketing knows that – it seems Inbev didn’t.
Likewise, Peeterman Artois is a decent enough beer if you’re looking for something cold at no more than 4%. It should have been premium – within weeks of launch it was on special offer on massive displays in Sainsbury’s.
Instead of investing in image, they chased volume. Every bar owner who wanted Stella got it, so it started to appear in dives, product quality began to vary, and drinker image changed. I’ve often said that the main thing preventing many British men from drinking cask ale is the fear they would be lumped in with the socks-and-sandals ticker stereotype. By the mid-noughties there was an equally repellent drinker image at the other end of the scale – the binge drinking lad who made ‘Stella-ed’ into a verb shortly before trying to pick a fight with a policeman. Inbev did nothing – certainly nothing that was visible to the average lager drinker – to counter this.
I last worked on Stella in 2000, but it was a great brand for several years after that. Then Inbev simply seemed to ignore everything we had learned about the brand and managed to turn 19% growth into double-digit decline in the space of three years. Of course, the people who wrecked the brand will have worked on it for two years before being transferred to something else, picking up their bonus for achieving short-term sales volumes and leaving someone else to clear up the mess they created.
There are good people inside big brewers, even good people inside Inbev, people who are as passionate about beer as any beer blogger. I wish the people they answer to would realise that this is what happens when you ignore the good people. But I doubt it.

… to this, in five short years.